Exploring the Hadith

[Peter]

One can pretty much close one's eyes and pop open the Hadith to any section and find lots of fun within it's pages. I started this thread to collect a few of the verses we find while musing over it's pages.

Apparently Mohammed appreciated an audience

Volume 1, Book 4, Number 157:

    Narrated Abu Huraira:

    I followed the Prophet while he was going out to answer the call of nature. He used not to look this way or that. So, when I approached near him he said to me, "Fetch for me some stones for ' cleaning the privates parts (or said something similar), and do not bring a bone or a piece of dung." So I brought the stones in the corner of my garment and placed them by his side and I then went away from him. When he finished (from answering the call of nature) he used, them .

Volume 1, Book 4, Number 158:

    Narrated 'Abdullah:

    The Prophet went out to answer the call of nature and asked me to bring three stones. I found two stones and searched for the third but could not find it. So took a dried piece of dung and brought it to him. He took the two stones and threw away the dung and said, "This is a filthy thing."
http://www.usc.edu/schools/college/crcc/engagement/resources/texts/muslim/hadith/bukhari/004.sbt.html

[Peter]

Praying because of an eclipse.
http://www.usc.edu/schools/college/crcc/engagement/resources/texts/muslim/hadith/bukhari/018.sbt.html

Volume 2, Book 18, Number 154: "So when you see the eclipse, remember Allah and say Takbir, pray and give Sadaqa." The Prophet then said, "O followers of Muhammad! By Allah!

Can there be any question as to Islam's historical origins?

Takbir Saying "Allahu Akbar" (Allah is the Greatest).
Sadaqa Anything given away in charity for the pleasure of Allah.

Just as the moon god worshipers would have done before Mohammed as the moon was considered the greatest and most powerful of their pagan deities.

[Peter]

search - Safa and Marwa ignorance

Narrated Ibn 'Abbas: To run along the valley between two green pillars of Safa and Marwa (mountains) was not Sunna, but the people in the pre-islamic period of ignorance used to run along it, and used to say: "We do not cross this rain stream except running strongly. "

Narrated 'Asim bin Sulaiman: I asked Anas bin Malik about Safa and Marwa. Anas replied, "We used to consider (i.e. going around) them a custom of the Pre-islamic period of ignorance, so when Islam came, we gave up going around them. Then Allah revealed" "Verily, Safa and Marwa (i.e. two mountains at Mecca) are among the Symbols of Allah. So it is not harmful of those who perform the Hajj of the House (of Allah) or perform the Umra to ambulate (Tawaf) between them."

[Peter]

Not long ago I was accused of making this stuff up.

Narrated Abu Said Al-Khudri: That while he was sitting with the Prophet a man from the Ansar came and said, "O Allah's Apostle! We get slave girls from the war captives and we love property; what do you think about coitus interruptus?" Allah's Apostle said, "Do you do that? It is better for you not to do it, for there is no soul which Allah has ordained to come into existence but will be created."  (Book #77, Hadith #600)
http://www.searchtruth.com/searchHadith.php?keyword=coitus&translator=1&search=1&book=&start=0&records_display=10&search_word=all

And thus his true followers
http://www.beholdthebeast.com/great_tribulation.htm

"Eyewitness accounts detailing the militia attacks are horrifying. "They killed my 3-year-old son right in front of my eyes," one father from West Darfur said. Since last fall, women have reported more than 500 rapes. Three women said five militiamen beat and raped them last August. The women said, "After they abused us, they told us that now we would have Arab babies. And, if they would find any [more] women, they would rape them again to change the color of their children.""
http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2005/may/21.26.html

Licensed, of course, by the Quran and Hadith

Quran Sura 33:50-51 "O prophet! We have made lawful to thee thy wives to whom thou hast paid their dowers; and those whom thy right hand possesses out of the prisoners of war ...
http://islamchristianforum.com/index.php?topic=456.0
Bukhari:V5B59N459 "I entered the Mosque, saw Abu, sat beside him and asked about sex. Abu Said said, 'We went out with Allah's Apostle and we received female slaves from among the captives. We desired women and we loved to do coitus interruptus.'"
http://islamchristianforum.com/index.php?topic=1528.msg5864#msg5864
Sahih Muslim Book 8:3431: "It is permissible to have sexual intercourse with a captive woman after she is purified (of menses or delivery) in case she has a husband, her marriage is abrogated after she becomes captive.

[Peter]

Narrated Abu Huraira: While we were in the Mosque, the Prophet came out and said, "Let us go to the Jews" We went out till we reached Bait-ul-Midras. He said to them, "If you embrace Islam, you will be safe. You should know that the earth belongs to Allah and His Apostle, and I want to expel you from this land. So, if anyone amongst you owns some property, he is permitted to sell it, otherwise you should know that the Earth belongs to Allah and His Apostle."  (Book #53, Hadith #392)

So Muhammad and his alter-ego own the earth.

[Peter]

Narrated Anas: When 'Abdullah bin Salam heard the arrival of the Prophet at Medina, he came to him and said, "I am going to ask you about three things which nobody knows except a prophet: What is the first portent of the Hour? What will be the first meal taken by the people of Paradise? Why does a child resemble its father, and why does it resemble its maternal uncle" Allah's Apostle said, "Gabriel has just now told me of their answers." 'Abdullah said, "He (i.e. Gabriel), from amongst all the angels, is the enemy of the Jews." Allah's Apostle said, "The first portent of the Hour will be a fire that will bring together the people from the east to the west; the first meal of the people of Paradise will be Extra-lobe (caudate lobe) of fish-liver. As for the resemblance of the child to its parents: If a man has sexual intercourse with his wife and gets discharge first, the child will resemble the father, and if the woman gets discharge first, the child will resemble her." On that 'Abdullah bin Salam said, "I testify that you are the Apostle of Allah." 'Abdullah bin Salam further said, "O Allah's Apostle! The Jews are liars, and if they should come to know about my conversion to Islam before you ask them (about me), they would tell a lie about me." The Jews came to Allah's Apostle and 'Abdullah went inside the house. Allah's Apostle asked (the Jews), "What kind of man is 'Abdullah bin Salam amongst you?" They replied, "He is the most learned person amongst us, and the best amongst us, and the son of the best amongst us." Allah's Apostle said, "What do you think if he embraces Islam (will you do as he does)?" The Jews said, "May Allah save him from it." Then 'Abdullah bin Salam came out in front of them saying, "I testify that None has the right to be worshipped but Allah and that Muhammad is the Apostle of Allah." Thereupon they said, "He is the evilest among us, and the son of the evilest amongst us," and continued talking badly of him.  (Book #55, Hadith #546)

Talk about the children of the flesh! Well at least Muhammad's followers will be comforted to know that the first meal in the "paradise" of Muhammad's imagination is fish liver!

[Peter]

The heart of antichrist

Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah's Apostle said, "By Him in Whose Hands my soul is, surely (Jesus,) the son of Mary will soon descend amongst you and will judge mankind justly (as a Just Ruler); he will break the Cross and kill the pigs and there will be no Jizya (i.e. taxation taken from non Muslims). Money will be in abundance so that nobody will accept it, and a single prostration to Allah (in prayer) will be better than the whole world and whatever is in it." Abu Huraira added "If you wish, you can recite (this verse of the Holy Book): -- 'And there is none Of the people of the Scriptures (Jews and Christians) But must believe in him (i.e Jesus as an Apostle of Allah and a human being) Before his death. And on the Day of Judgment He will be a witness Against them." (4.159) (See Fateh Al Bari, Page 302 Vol 7)  (Book #55, Hadith #657)

[Peter]

Mohammad's believe it or else!
http://islamcomicbook.com/

[PeteWaldo]

This may provide additional amusement
http://dailyhadith.adaptivesolutionsinc.com/had_online2.php

[PeteWaldo]

Non-Muslims have seven intestines while Muhammad's followers have only one:
http://www.searchtruth.com/searchHadith.php?keyword=seven+intestines&translator=2&search=1&book=&start=0&records_display=10&search_word=all

Muslim:

(1) Ibn 'Umar reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying that a non-Muslim eats in seven intestines whereas a Muslim eats in one intestine.  (Book #023, Hadith #5113)

(2) Nafi' reported that Ibn 'Umar saw a poor man. He placed food before him and he ate much. He (Ibn 'Umar) said: He should not come to me. for I heard Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying that the non-Muslim eats in seven intestines.  (Book #023, Hadith #5115)

(3) Ibn 'Umar reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: A believer eats in one intestine, whereas a non-believer eats in seven intestines.  (Book #023, Hadith #5116)

(4) Abu Musa reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: A believer eats in one intestine, whereas a non-believer eats in seven intestines.  (Book #023, Hadith #5118)

(5) Abu Huraira reported that Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) invited a non-Muslim. Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) commanded that a goat be milked for him. It was milked and he drank its milk. Then the second one was milked and he drank its milk, and then the other one was milked and he drank its milk. till he drank the milk of seven goats. On the next morning he embraced Islam. And Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) commanded that a goat should be milked for him and he drank its milk and then another was milked but he did not finish it, whereupon Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: A believer drinks In one intestine whereas a non-believer drinks in seven intestines.  (Book #023, Hadith #5120)