Chapter 2 "Prophet of Doom"Devils, Deceptions & Backrubs
"Because Allah afflicted Eve, all the women of the world menstruate and they are stupid."
You may be wondering why Muhammad based his new religion on old Bible stories, and why he found it necessary to alter them. Muslim scholars insist that the characters and events, at least up to the point of departure, are similar because Yahweh and Allah are the same god. Unfortunately, that makes less sense than the sun falling out of a chariot and angelic wings blotting out the moon. If Allah is Yahweh, simply translate the Old Covenant into Arabic and be done with it. We have proved that the Bible has not changed with the passage of time, so, if it was divinely inspired - as Muhammad claims - it must still be true.
But as we discovered in the last chapter, Muhammad was allergic to truth. Apparently, it didn't serve his interests. It’s hard to imagine a man speaking more ignorantly or lying more transparently. The fact that Muslims are wholly reliant upon his testimony for the entirety of their religion and the very existence of their "god," puts them in a precarious position. Islam is on life support and we haven't even left Paradise yet.
Thus far, the Qur'an and Hadith have demonstrated that Muhammad wasn't very smart, and his god wasn't any help. That much should be evident by now. So lacking creativity and inspiration, Muhammad turned to the best-documented, best-known monotheistic religion, Judaism, to make his personal quest seem religious. So far, so good. Team Islam usurped Jewish ideas, terms, names, characters, and events. Muhammad penciled himself in as a fellow prophet - as the lead act on the marquee. He cast Allah in the role of Yahweh. He replaced Jews with Arabs and started telling Bible stories. But being illiterate, he got them all fouled up.
The Jews laughed themselves silly. Rather than accepting the self-promoting prophet, they teased him for his errant portrayals of their history. But aspiring tyrants never admit to being wrong. Rather than correct his revisionist history, Muhammad claimed supremacy. He said, "If you reject my message, you will die." Emboldened by the militants he eventually came to command, he twisted the stories further in an effort to make his wanton behavior look prophetic. Biblical accounts were contorted to the point they became nonsensical in the context of the time and place they actually occurred. The Jews, in defense of their scriptures, mocked Muhammad all the more. Enraged, Allah’s Messenger struck back, calling them donkeys, apes, and pigs. He ordered his followers to "kill every Jew." He'd show them who was right and who was wrong. He'd prove who was godly and who was not.
When you view this continuing saga in that light, and from this perspective, even stories of a talking sun wearing clothing, setting in a muddy spring surrounded by extraterrestrials becomes relevant. And if there's a better excuse, I mean explanation, for this malarkey, I mean alternate view, I'd love to hear it. For if there is something in Islam that makes sense, something that was actually divine - we might use it to reach Muslims, reason with them, and keep them from killing us.
By way of confession, I came to see the Bible as the inspired word of Yahweh because of the prophecies it contained. I recognized that it was impossible for a 2,000- to 4,000-year-old book to accurately foretell today’s events if it were not authored by a spirit who existed outside of time. You do not have to share my view, however, to understand that Islam disproved itself when it agreed with my conclusion. Two "inspired" books from the same deity cannot be contradictory to the point of being opposites.
Muhammad’s dependence on the Bible requires us to compare his text with the original. To understand Islam, we must determine why they are so different. I believe that the answer is obvious. Yahweh's spirit authored one and Lucifer inspired the other. Yet, once again, you do not need to agree with me. You may view Muhammad’s demonic behavior and the motivation for his deceitful scriptures metaphorically. His demons can be seen as our guttural nature, human depravity in full bloom. It doesn't require a devil to seduce covetous men into deceiving others to gain power, sex, and money.
Now for another confession. Any attempt to reorganize Islam chronologically is perilous. The religion was founded upon the claim that Abraham had a religion, that he built the Ka'aba and established Islamic rituals. With most of his Qur'an pilfered from the Torah, Muhammad professed that Adam, Noah, Abraham, Lot, Moses, and Jesus were Muslim prophets, setting the stage for Islam long before he was born. The longer Muhammad lived, the more he twisted their stories, making them his own. So if I present the evidence in the order Muhammad actually made his assertions, we'd have to jump in and out of history. But if we use a historical timeline - the Islamic version of creation through the twisting of the patriarchs, the immorality of Mecca, ending with the violence of Medina - we'll have to review Qur'anic scriptures and Islamic Hadith that were revealed last, first.
Tabari and Ishaq, as historian and biographer, use the same chronological approach I am using. Thus every surah we reference early in our narratives was revealed late in Muhammad’s mission. Adam and Satan dominate Islam’s genesis, yet none of the supporting Qur'anic verses are from the first score of surahs in order of their alleged revelation. I share this to keep you from jumping to the conclusion that Muhammad was a well-schooled religious man, possessing a sufficient understanding of the Bible to plagiarize it effectively at the outset of his career. In reality, he would not come to know the Torah until he came to know the Jews. And he would never understand the Gospels.
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