A couple of days after I decided to believe in Jesus, I was outside my house at night. I looked up at the stars for a while, and all of a sudden I experienced this "out of body" sensation. I felt as if I was rising higher and higher upwards. Now, my body was not lifting off the ground, but it felt so real that I had to look down at my feet to check that they were still on the ground! Up until then I had never really been aware of the distinction between body and soul, but as I was experiencing this, I knew that what I could feel was my soul leaving my body and racing up towards, well - the heavens
This lasted for about half a minute to one minute and it really was an amazing, supernatural experience. I believe that Jesus was confirming to me that I was now on the right track.
I spent many late nights trying to find out about Jesus through the Bible, books etc. One thing I did was search youtube. I watched quite a few videos that different Christians had uploaded of themselves, speaking about Jesus. I also read the comments to see what the other Christians were saying. What I realised is there are people out there in the world that genuinely feel they
know Jesus, that they have a
personal relationship with Him! Some of them really seemed to be
in love with Jesus! To be honest I found this quite strange and shocking, but these people seemed so genuine that I believed them. There were also people talking about various dreams that they said
Jesus had given them, and the interpretations. I even watched videos from one particular guy who spoke not only about various dreams that he believed were from Jesus, but he claimed that Jesus had
appeared to him when he was awake - twice! He seemed so sincere and humble that I could not help but believe him. I mean, if Jesus is God, then He can do anything at all right? Why wouldn't he appear to people if He wanted?
I felt very strongly that I would like this personal relationship with Jesus too - I wanted to know Him - really know what he was like. So I spent
alot of time talking to Him, praying, asking Him questions, repenting for my sins, telling Him how truly almighty and wonderful He really was, also just chatting away about things that were happening in my day. I spent whole days just talking to Him as I went about my day, and sometimes I fasted aswell. I kept asking Jesus if I could meet Him -
see Him, hear from Him, get to know what He was really like.
Well what followed was that over the next few months Jesus
did speak to me through quite a number of dreams. At first I was doubtful and kept asking and wondering if it really was Him - then He gave me a dream confirming that of course it was Him. In one of my dreams, God spoke to me and told me that me that in two months time everything would be taken from me and I would be tested. He showed me the utter despair and loss that I would feel. I was sceptical, but then it came true
exactly as He had showed me it would. One time an angel spoke to me. During the time of these dreams, I was sometimes attacked by demons - either in my sleep or as I was going to sleep. They said or showed me things intended to simply frighten me. I was no longer on their side so I was now their enemy.
I do have a book at home where I have written down the details of these dreams, but I won't put them here. However, during this time I had two more significant experiences which I would like to write here, in the hope that someone reading may come to understand just how alive and personal Jesus really is.
One evening I was sitting alone at my sewing machine in the living room (my children were fast asleep in bed upstairs). I wasn't actually sewing, just sitting there still, feeling quite content. I felt a strong sense of peace come over me, and then I felt
something enter the room - you know when you can sense a presence without having to see the person? Well it was like that. I was sitting at the front left corner of the room, so the majority of the living room space was behind and to the right side of my right shoulder. This is where I could feel the presence coming. My heart started pounding as no door had been opened - I felt half terrified as I knew
something supernatural was there (what else could it be) and I had no idea whether it was good or bad.
You know how smoke will flow through a small gap until it has filled the space it is entering, and then just sort of hang there? Well that is exactly what this felt like, except I was
sensing it, but not seeing, smelling or hearing it. Now just because it was something supernatural does not mean it was a weak presence - on the contrary it was a strong, unmistakable presence. Somehow I could sense the movement of it as it entered.
Once it had entered the room, the feel of it changed; it became still, and much stronger. It is very hard for me to describe exactly what it felt like, but the presence was
huge. I feel like I should say "deafening" or "booming" - though it was completely silent. It also felt "warm", (though not in temperature). I somehow knew then that this was nothing to be afraid of. I knew that this was from Jesus.
After a while this presence began to "communicate" with me. I say communicate because I could now feel
emotion from it. That emotion was
love. This "thing" - it
loved me. I know that may sound crazy or unbelievable but it is the absolute truth. I felt this incredible amount of love coming from it. I have always thought of love as some kind of sentimental, uncontrollable, vague emotion, but this love was
real. It was as if it was another element like water, fire etc. - it was
powerful. I could barely breathe! I knew now that it was Jesus himself (or I guess you could say a manifestation of Him). He had come to meet me! What we humans think of as love between people - it is really just a pale reflection of the awesome love that Jesus has for us. He
is love!
Now, as I said His presence was to the side and back of me. I had turned towards it ever so slightly, but I
could not turn right around to look. It was just too terrifying. If I had seen anything, I do not think I could have coped at all, it would have been just too much. However I knew in my heart that there would be nothing to see anyway as that was the whole point - Jesus was showing me I did not need to
see anything to know that He was there!
I also began to feel something else - somehow I just knew that He knew
everything about me - He was seeing into my soul and my heart. It was as if He was telling me that nothing escaped Him, He had watched me every second of my life; but you know what, for some reason He still loved me. I know it may be hard to understand the manner in which this was communicated to me, but
I just knew. Funnily enough, this made me feel incredibly shy, bashful.
Now, you know what happened next? It is quite hard for me to write this, but
I fell in love with Him. I mean literally, right there and then. I didn't think about it, it just happened. One minute I was sitting there experiencing this most almighty love being sent
towards me, and next thing I was basically returning it. I felt myself literally fall in love with Him over the space of a few seconds. And I do mean in the same way that a person feels they fall in love with another person, only this was
much stronger and it was complete. Shortly after this His presence gradually left the room.
Since then I have experienced Jesus' presence outside my body in other more subtle ways. I have also felt His presence
inside of me - I am not a Bible scholar and may be wrong about this but I think that this is what is meant by the "Holy Spirit". I am also learning to hear His "voice". This does not have to be an audible voice; sometimes it is a thought or image placed in your mind, sometimes it is
just knowing in your heart. I am learning to see the hand of Jesus involved in every aspect of my life - the more I trust in Him the more He is able to guide
every single step of my life.
Also, recently, satan has been speaking to me, sometimes in dreams and sometimes when I am awake. He curses at me, mocks me and tries to scare me. Can you understand what I am saying - satan
hates me, because I know the truth, and he hates the truth - he does not want me to share it with you.
One more thing - my Muslim friends, if you have read or know that the
real name for Jesus is Yahushua (or Yeshua etc..), well I am certain that Jesus revealed and confirmed to me in a very precise manner that it
is his true name - and that He
prefers it. I might write a little bit about what happened in a separate post. I'm not sure if this name matters much for Christians, and I was confused as to why He particularly revealed this to me, but I think I am starting to realise that it
does matter for Muslims. I have written "Jesus" throughout this testimony because I didn't want to confuse anyone, but in private I too call Him Yahushua. If you have difficulty with the name Jesus, or with the idea of Jesus and Yaweh being the same God yet separate - then use Yahushua - "Yahweh saves".
My friends, I have written this in absolute honesty and from my heart, for the simple reason that I want to show you that Jesus (Yahushua)
is real, he is
alive. I
know Him - I have met Him! He is so very, very close to us and has an almighty love for us all. There are many other people in the world that will also testify that Jesus/Yahushua is their living God, and that they have a personal relationship with Him, just like me. Can you find even one Muslim that claims a similar relationship with either Allah or Muhammad? One Muslim that will tell you that they are "in love" with Muhammad - or that Muhammad speaks to them, or that they "know" him? Will you admit to yourself that there is a chance that I am really telling you the truth - that Yahushua is our living God? If that is true, then it means Muhammad and all Muslims have been greatly, sorely and sadly deceived by satan. You owe it to yourself to find out the truth - it is a matter of eternal life or death.
My friends, there is a simple way to find out the truth of Yahushua. You need to
believe. It really is as simple as that, because faith is
everything. If you give your heart to Yahushua and believe that He and He alone can save you, then He
will come through for you, I promise you. He will bless you like you never imagined. Our God is not of this earth, He is a spiritual God. Why don't you seek Him in a spiritual way? Get down on your knees and cry out to Yahushua from your heart and soul, cry out like you are drowning. Ask Yahushua to reveal Himself to you, beg Him. Keep asking until He does - He is truly your Saviour and has
almighty power. He can do
anything and He
will reveal Himself to you! He is right there with you,
waiting for you to open your heart to receive Him, do you understand?
Please do not hesitate to make a reply, or to message me if you have anything that you want to ask privately. Do not be afraid of the truth!
Oh and this is the end of my testimony
May Yahweh bless you.
Anna
